Thursday, July 22, 2010

Reflections: An insight

While looking at a pattern of a tree outside reflected on the wall of my bedroom, I always wonder if the tree is more beautiful or its reflection.

I have always observed that the reflection of a moon in the water is so much more subtle and touching…I wonder why?

Have you ever seen a reflection of sky in the water…sometimes its so camouflaged that at a point you won’t be able to differentiate which is the water and which is the sky! So what does a mirror show to you? Sometimes when I look at my reflection in the mirror, I keep thinking that whether its me or someone who I want to be is looking back at me!

Its interesting to know how you perceive yourself at a certain age. I clearly remember my Sanskrit period in school, our teacher was explaining a Sanskrit poem in which while talking she said, “At your age you have a fascination of the mirror, you keep checking how do you look and you find yourself to be beautiful!” That was so true! You, yourself are never ugly in your own eyes and the respective mirror plays a fantastic role in this.

What will you do when you feel like talking to yourself? Like a woman in that poem who doesn’t like to grow old and curses the mirror for it! isn’t she cursing herself? Isn’t the mirror actually reflecting her own insights which are making her feel old and tired?

In my house there are three mirrors, one makes me look bold the other clearer while I am always afraid to look in the third as its wider and it makes me look fatter! Its so simple…what I feel is what I see in the mirror. Its my perception combined with my insights reflects me. The moods keep changing, the feelings keep changing so is my reflection, what is constant is the mirror and its quality of reflecting whatever comes in front or to be very precise whatever is real, just like as it is.

But whether its real, vicious, tricky or a simple lie depends completely on how true to you are to yourself. Once a friend said in a discussion that, “I can lie to the world but how can I lie to myself?”

I think this sentence completely suits the moment when the mirror reflects you.

“Tell me what do you see within, what do you see in my eyes? Do you even recognize me?” I asked the mirror one day and he proudly replied, “I see you! Your eyes reflect that now you are ready to face the world…and your mind says you are about to fly away…I will miss you!”

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

It rained today…and I lived the moment!!!

I left my home in agony, in suffocation. It felt as if something is binding me, bothering me so much that I am not even able to breathe. Is it because of my unemployed status or the house full of people, is it because I don’t exactly gather what I am doing properly or I am considering few things which I was pretty determined to ignore.

I knew the shop is going to be closed but it served the purpose of going for a long scooter ride, alone thinking about myself, my life and it started raining.

Monsoon rains are so enjoyable. I have always wondered how come rain has a power of washing away all the miseries of your life and gives you the courage to start afresh! Yes! I felt it.

The city of Pune in every season keeps telling me to go back to my roots. It keeps encouraging me to feel that, yes I belong here! Any and every time I left this city was always to come back…Pune was totally washed today.

It felt as if Mother Nature is gently bathing her lovely child. Today I tried to wash all my grievances in the same rain and I was successful enough. I sang my favourite songs to myself while coming back home, I felt rejuvenated.

Then I remembered how my cousin and I used to play in the rain in our balcony. I went there and played with water…splashhh...was the sound as I kicked the water. I guess it was the worries that splashed in the rain and I let them drain in the void.

In this span of time I realised that I am doing nothing but enjoying the moment. I did not care about what will happen in the future…ahh I did not even think about the next minute. It was present and I was absolutely present over there, getting wet in the rain. Drops of happiness falling continuously on my face…as I closed my eyes what I could listen and feel was just rain.

My usual habit of enjoying the rain is by sitting at the corner of our sofa in the living room closing my eyes and just listening to the sound of rain…I did realise today that I can do the same even by being there… outside on my own without any fear. There is no need to worry about anything after all life is about creating memories…living them in moments and rejoicing them afterwards!

I guess rain has made me converse within…It has taught me to just loose myself and live every passing moment…

I wish to continue my lessons with rain…

Right now its time for a hot cup of tea…Happy monsoon!!!